


Flying Is The Most Fun A Cheerleader Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (But Threesomes Are Best When She's Naked)

by growlery, reena_jenkins



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic At The Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Adorable, Adorkable, Alternate Universe - Always the Opposite Sex, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Humor, BOSSY SPENCER IS BOSSY, Bitchy, Cheerleaders, Coffee, Community: pod-together, Competition, Cover Art, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Genderswap, Glitter, I think I tagged everything, Lesbian Character, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Multi, Not!Fic, OHANA MEANS FAMILY, PETE'S CHEERLEADING HAREM, Pancakes, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Religious Conflict, Run-On Sentences, Sexual Content, Sexuality Crisis, Tacos, Teaching, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M, Training Montage, Unresolved Sexual Tension, alternate universe - cheerleaders, bb!lesbians, bi-curiousity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 21:38:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> I know nothing about cheerleading that I didn't learn from Bring It On, Hellcats, and watching ESPN when Middlest Sis makes me, but FLIPS! and KICKS! and PEPPY HAIR! and BITCHY SNARKY GENDERSWAP AWESOMESAUCE!</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying Is The Most Fun A Cheerleader Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (But Threesomes Are Best When She's Naked)

**Author's Note:**

> Written by reena_jenkins, read by quintenttsy, cover-arted by reena_jenkins and podbetaed by podcath.

  


[MP3](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2012/B-Flying%20Is%20The%20Most%20Fun%20A%20Cheerleader%20Can%20Have.mp3) / [M4B](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2012/B-Flying%20Is%20The%20Most%20Fun%20A%20Cheerleader%20Can%20Have%20Without%20Taking%20Her%20Clothes%20Off%20\(But%20Threesomes%20Are%20Best%20When%20She%27s%20Naked\)%20by%20quintenttsy%20&%20reena_jenkins.m4b)

a Bandom-as-Cheerleaders AU, featuring members of Panic! at the Disco  
written by reena_jenkins  
written for quintenttsy, as part of the 2012 pod_together challenge  
rated R-ish? (There's semi-explicit nakedtimes, so maybe it's closer to NC-17…)  
pairings include: Spencer/Ryan, Spencer/Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Patrick, and Jon/Cassie  
warnings for genderswap, threesomes, research about party schools but not about cheerleading, not!fic, terrible tenses, and run-on sentences

*\o/*

 I know nothing about cheerleading that I didn't learn from Bring It On, Hellcats, and watching ESPN when Middlest Sis makes me, but FLIPS! and KICKS! and PEPPY HAIR! and BITCHY SNARKY GENDERSWAP AWESOMESAUCE!  
  
 Which means, basically, that when I eventually get around to writing down the poorly-researched Cheerleading AU that lives inside my brain, it will involve bb!lesbian!era Spencer and Ryan being on the cheer team at a secular college (umm, what's the Nevada state school, UNLV? They all go there), and no!longer!LDS Brendon switching out of BYU to join their squad.  
  
 Interesting tidbit: the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, has an all-girls cheer squad, and also a co-ed cheer squad. I think bb!lesbians Spencer and Ryan originally made the all-girls squad, but Ryan had 'creative differences' with the captain - Ryan liked to paint her face in support of their teams, and also to wear weirdly hipster neckerchiefs and Sixties' throwback flowing scarves. (Ryan has made many varied and unique fashion choices, and they hardly ever match the stereotypical Cheerleader Pink.)The all-girls captain was a strong proponent of the You May Only Wear Colored Ribbons In Your Hair And You Must Be Dressed The Same As The Rest Of Your Squad school of thought. It was a difficult time for everyone, until Spencer suggested the co-ed squad as an alternative.  
  
 On the squad, bb!lesbian Spencer is a base (the person who does the tossing), and bb!lesbian Ryan is her flyer (the person who gets tossed). They've been a pair since Spencer joined Our Lady of Mercy's cheer squad, waaaay back when the girls were sophomores in High School. At first, Ryan was skeptical of the whole thing, thinking of all the stereotypes, but Spencer was really into it and managed to talk her I've-had-years-of-gymnastics-training best friend into trying out together. Spencer's enthusiasm for cheer eventually spread to Ryan, especially after Ryan saw her in the uniform.  
  
 Oh, you know what would be awesome? If Pete was the co-ed squad's coach! Think about it:  
  
 I bet he tried to recruit the girls for co-ed cheer before they even entered UNLV for their freshman year, but Spencer was put off by (okay, a little jealous of) Ryan's obsession with him. Maybe Ryan and Pete met in a Facebook group for UNLV cheerleading (because Ryan TOTALLY got herself a Facebook in March their senior year of High School, as soon as the letter with her UNLV email address came in, and http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-UNLV-Cheerleaders/101933689934658 was one of the first groups she joined), and as a result, Ryan spent a lot of time writing poorly-punctuated flailing (...and maybe a few emo poems. WHAT.) all over Pete's Wall. Ryan's not really one for emoting, but Pete - FROM OVER THE INTERNET, he wasn't even in the same ROOM as Ryan. You can see why Spencer might be worried - actually incited her to MAKE AN EXPRESSION on more than one occasion.  
  
 It got to the point where every third sentence out of Ryan's mouth was, "Pete told me THIS interesting fact about UNLV's cheerleading program," or, "Pete says that the best way to improve your basket toss is by..." or, "Pete just got a tattoo! Do you think I should get a tattoo when we get to school?" And the thing is, it's not like the girls are any less joined at the hip than they usually are. Sure, they've been fooling around together in a clothing-optional manner for a few months now, and they have a weekly standing night for getting pizza together (Tuesday, and after pizza they go to Ryan's house to watch The O.C.), but does it count as DATING? Spencer knows she loves Ryan, and she tells Ryan so all the time, but she's not sure if Ryan realizes that Spencer LOVES HER loves her, and not just FRIEND WITH ORGASM BENEFITS loves her. So Spencer's a bit (justifiably, in her opinion) reluctant to grant Pete further access to HER Ryan. It's not like she's worried that Ryan will have a sudden change in sexuality or anything… Spencer just DOESN'T SHARE VERY WELL. Her kindergarten teacher said so.  
  
 Which is why, when Spencer+Ryan finally get to UNLV that summer before freshman year (even though, by this point, Ryan HAS finally caught the clue bus - and even reciprocated those three words, which is a HUGE DEAL because Ryan is not always great at ~FEELINGS), and they have to try out for the cheerleading program, Spencer gets a tiiiiiiiiiiny little bitty bit devious. She tells Ryan that co-ed cheer tryouts are at Early Morning O'Clock, when ACTUALLY, that is the time scheduled for tryouts to join the ALL GIRLS SQUAD. Ryan's never at her best any time before 11 AM, and especially not when she was up late the night before (helping Spencer to 'work off her nerves' about tomorrow's tryouts), so it's not like she notices there aren't any boys on the field.  
  
  And of course they NAIL the tryouts - the two of them are JUST THAT GOOD - and Ryan thinks she's ALREADY tried out for the co-ed squad, so it's not like the two of them ever ACTUALLY make it over to see Pete that day.  
  
  And, yeah, Ryan's kind of pissed that Spencer was "full of jealousy and duplicitous intent" - she sleeps by herself, alone, in her own twin bed. She pushes it all the way over to the far side of the dorm room, as opposed to having the two beds shoved together against the wall like they'd rearranged the furniture on move-in night. (What? For the first time ever, Spencer+Ryan have unsupervised space all to themselves. If you think Spencer's NOT going to take advantage of the opportunity to cuddle all over Ryan's skinny arms and pokey elbows whenever she pleases, you're delusional) - but when Spencer realizes how CLEARLY ILL-FITTED Ryan is to the all-girls squad, she swallows her resentment and negotiates with Pete for two more open slots on his team.  
  
 If it means that she has to let Pete call her "Sexy Hips" and "Snugglemuffin" whenever he wants for the next three years, so be it. That's how much of an awesome girlfriend Spencer is for Ryan.  
  
 It's touch and go at first (because Spencer might be straightforward to a fault but she is nowhere NEAR gracious in defeat), but the co-ed squad is full of some really great people who are just as dedicated to cheer as Spencer and Ryan are. And, okay, their squad's captain is kind of overwhelming - sometimes Gerard will get on these rants in the middle of practice (Ryan's pretty sure Frank eggs him on, just to see Gerard cock his hip and throw his hands in the air. Spencer agrees), about the heteronormative restrictions placed on cheerleading, and the objectification of female cheerleaders, and how the entire squad should "throw off the shackles of gender-norm-based tyranny" by making all the guys wear skirts, too - but by and large, the entire experience is so much more OHANA MEANS FAMILY than Spencer would have ever expected. Sure, there's a rumor in the locker rooms that actually, the entire co-ed cheer squad is really PETE'S CHEERLEADING HAREM, but Frank always replies that people are just jealous because Gerard looks so much better than them in a skirt. (Well, and sometimes Frank says something about showing the offending OC his Spirit Stick, but Brendon's always been a little bit confused about that. This squad doesn't actually HAVE a spirit stick….)  
  
  A few weeks after they've made the transition to the co-ed squad, Spencer+Ryan run into Pete and a strawberry-blonde dude sitting at a booth in their favorite off-campus pizzeria. The guys call out hellos, and when Spencer and Ryan finally join their table, Pete grins like a maniac (a somewhat horsey-looking maniac, but maniacal just the same). All four of them end up sharing a pie and a pitcher of Coke, and  even though this was supposed to be Date Night for Ryan+Spencer (it's Tuesday), the evening passes in a haze of gossip and giggles and scandalized glances on the part of Patrick, Pete's friend. By the time their meal is over, Spencer has defrosted enough around Pete to let down her guard, and she even WILLINGLY smiles at him as he and Patrick get up to leave the table. "I had a great time tonight," Pete says, as he puts his half of the check on the tabletop, "And hey, Spence, you don't have to worry about me stealing your girl. I'm only straight above the waist!" And Patrick just facepalms and drags him away.  
  
 So, back to the story I'm trying to tell. Brendon tried out for the co-ed squad with a pretty fantastic routine, if he does say so himself (one front handspring step out, round-off back handspring step-out, round-off back handspring, full-twisting layout coming up… yes, he might have watched Bring It On enough times to memorize Missy's routine, but it's practically required reading for any cheerleader, and Pete the Co-Ed Squad Coach had seemed like he was in on the joke when Brendon was finished). Brendon ends up getting a spot on the squad as an alternate tumbler/flyer (because he is tiny, and can do flips 'n' shit, and so if they toss him he's light enough to get serious airtime). It's not first string, but it's CHEER, which is what Brendon loves the most. And Brendon's aware that he's the new guy, so he's willing to put in the time until he can make it to the top.  
  
  (Brendon makes no attempt to hide his enthusiasm and dedication to cheer during practice. After all, even cheerleaders need a pep talk or two, when tricks keep going wrong even on the seventh try. Like the time Pete had gotten the notion into his head that the thing their routine needed RIGHT NOW was a full Wolf Wall - which, y'know, is only the hardest pyramid know to cheerleading and mankind. And sure, Spencer and Ryan and Gerard and Frank were all part of the formation, but Brendon wasn't actually being lifted while they practiced, so he got to sit out and cheer for his teammates with William.  
  
  "Come on, guys! Lift! You can't just rest on your laurels!" Brendon grins up at Ryan, who just glares back from her perch atop Spencer's shoulders.  
  
  Next to him, William mutters, "Why does everyone say that? Maybe a laurel is a comfortable place to rest."  
  
  Ryan must have the ears of a bat, because she glares even harder at that.)  
   
 The thing is, even though Brendon made the squad, he isn't adjusting too well to life at UNLV. Talk about your massive culture shock. Brendon's gone from a fairly conservative religious household, to a fairly conservative religious university, to a secular college known for having some of the wildest parties IN THE STATE. It's possible that Brendon went a little TOO far, in trying to shed his LDS background.  
  
 And of course there is existential ANGST, because before Brendon joined UNLV's co-ed cheer squad, he had to LEAVE BYU (the school his parents, brothers, and sisters all attended, and the school which offered him some serious financial aid thanks to Alumni Benefits), to pursue his DREAM of CHEERLEADING. He just isn't sure if that means he actually has to abandon his LDS faith, as well as BYU's campus (Brigham Young University, for those of you who aren't aware, is owned and operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).  
  
 Well, actually…. mostly that's just an excuse to give his parents. BYU had a decent cheer squad, and Brendon was well on his way to making captain senior year if he'd stuck around, but the school is 98% LDS kids. Brendon knew for a while that he didn't believe the same stuff as the rest of his ward, but he'd never actually said it out loud until the beginning of first semester sophomore year at BYU. At that point, Brendon pretty much decided that if he was going to go through with this new non-LDS persona, he should go all the way, and so he made the switch to a secular school for a clean break. He still considers himself a faithful person (it IS TOO possible to be faithful without being religious), still believes that there is *a* God up there, watching out for everyone…. he just doesn't agree with how his parents interpret Him, or how LDS sees God, and especially not with how many restrictions are placed on him that seem completely irrelevant in the modern world thanks to the strictures of his parents' faith. Brendon's actually been thinking about shopping around for a religion, maybe trying out Judaism, or that giant space cobra Gabe from Econ was talking about the other day.  
  
 Anyway. His roommate for the year had already been in the room since first semester, and there were clearly-defined boundaries between what was the empty half of the room, and what might have been the domain of some rare and elusive breed of slacker-musician-surfer-hobo (if you based your conclusion on the observation of a guitar leaning against one desk, three pairs of flip-flops under the bed, and several scrunched-up t-shirts in varying scents of 'smelly' and 'REALLY smelly' littering the floor. Brendon stepped lightly, while crossing the carpeting to his own bed).  
  
 He finds out later that his roommate's name is Jon. He's older than Brendon by a few years; Jon used to be a part of the Philadelphia Orchestra performing at the Academy of Music in Pennsylvania, before deciding to get an actual degree and enrolling at UNLV. (See what I did there? There really IS an Academy of Music in Pennsylvania, and Jon LEFT IT BEHIND TO LIVE IN THE SAME SMALL SPACE AS BRENDON. Yeah, I'm awesome like that *grins*) Jon's really laid back - interpersonally, and also when it comes to things like doing laundry - and he has a perpetual stash of weed hidden somewhere about his person. The first time Jon offers Brendon a hit, Brendon stammers out a, "No. Thank you. No thank you? No. No. Thank you?" and bolts to the library for hours of very intense studying.  
  
 Jon never pressures Brendon about smoking with him, he knows Brendon's an athlete in a highly-competitive sport known for frequent drug checks, but he does let Brendon know that if he ever DID want to try getting high, Jon would be willing to help Brendon out with the experience. Brendon says, "Thank you," one more time, but this time he only runs away as far as the Common Study Room at the end of their hall.  
  
 Things ease between them eventually, because aside from the smoking and the drinking and the pre-marital sex (which is kind of funny, because Jon's pretty much as married as he could possibly BE to his girlfriend Cassie. Brendon really likes her, except for how he ends up sleeping in the Common Room on nights when she comes to visit), Jon's a really cool guy. One night, Jon even drags Brendon out with him and some of his friends to see their band play a nearby club, and while it isn't exactly the kind of music Brendon's ever listened to much before (see "Brendon Urie: sheltered childhood, delicate flower" for more details), the entire night is FANTASTIC. Brendon bounces around the dance floor all night, with Jon AND Jon's friends AND complete strangers AND EVEN Pete the Co-ed Coach (who, before he bounced along with Brendon, was dancing really incredibly closely with a guy in a trucker hat. Wonder who that was?), AND IT'S AWESOME. He even thinks he sees Ryan+Spencer over by the bar, or at least a pair of girls in glitter and skinny jeans that MIGHT be Spencer+Ryan, but by the time Brendon makes his way over they've disappeared.  
   
 See, Brendon spends most of every practice with Spencer and Ryan, and at first they are bitchy and exclusive and only mildly tolerant, because who IS this boy and why'd he think he could just walk onto their squad? Sure, he can do some tricks that not even Ryan manages to land every time, but seriously. Who IS this boy, huh?  
   
 Anyway. It's a week or two into the new semester (second semester sophomore year for Ryan and Spencer; what would have been the second semester sophomore year for Brendon if not for the fact that only SOME of his credits transferred to his new university and so now he's a full semester behind where he should be), when someone not on the cheer squad makes fun of Brendon's hair, or his glasses, or his general bounciness. Spencer and Ryan overhear it, and jump to his defense (bitchily). OBVIOUSLY, they're allowed to pick on Brendon, but NO ONE ELSE. DUH. So there is bitching out of random OCs, and Brendon isn't really sure how to react. Does he say thank you to Spencer and Ryan? Or does he not acknowledge the incident? Because they're not exactly his biggest fans during practice.  
  
 And then, as though that one moment in Brendon's defense was the spark for a dozen more, there is team bonding and getting to know one another. There is a TRAINING MONTAGE, with FLIPS and TOSSING and SLOW MOTION TUMBLING and TRUST-BUILDING and MOTIVATIONAL MUSIC. At one point in the montage, we see a clip of the Co-Ed squad at a football game, and Ryan may or may not being having CHEER SEX with both Spencer AND Brendon. It is glorious.  
  
 Time passes, and the girls start to see beneath the surface of Brendon's spazztastic exterior - he tells them about growing up LDS in public school, and being lonely in a house full of older siblings, and never fitting in (being 'that weird Mormon kid', combined with the only boy to try out for cheerleading, did NOT do excellent things for his popularity in the halls). In return, Spencer makes him smile by talking about the time Ryan started dancing in public, when Blink-182 played on the mall loudspeakers (the best part? It was LAST WEEK); Ryan retaliates for that indignity by bringing up Spencer's disastrous first attempt on a skateboard, and the resulting hilarious pants-rip. There are confidences exchanged, and secrets shared, and coffees drunk together after hellish classes, and sooner or later the bb!lesbians come to face their dawning SEXUALITY ANGST! Because for some reason, Spencer's not territorial over Ryan's time spent with Brendon the way she was with Pete, and they were PRETTY SURE they're both hardcore lesbians all the way (see: experimenting with each other in high school; liking vaginas; dating each other for multiple years; not wanting to date boys; et cetera) but THEY ARE DRAWN TO BRENDON WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?  
  
 So then we have a scene where Spencer+Ryan are fooling around, all naked-like and awesome for all parties involved. And then they get to talking during the afterglow, about how maybe Brendon is growing on them (He's still a spazzy boy most of the time, who cannot dance to save his life even though he's an athlete that depends on things like RHYTHM and BEATS for his sport, and he has some sort of weird bro-crush on his Very Straight Very Taken roommate. But Brendon's SERIOUSLY dedicated to cheer, and willing to work extra hours of practice, and he's struggling to pay his tuition fees by himself. Huh. Actually, apparently he has a few redeeming qualities to overcome the spazz attacks after all), and Ryan likes it when Spencer fucks her with the vibrator, right? And they get to talking about dick, and Brendon's dick, and how maybe Spencer might like to hypothetically watch Ryan get fucked by Brendon's dick. And there is a BIG REVEAL about how the two of them are maybe just a little bit bi-curious after all…. but it's afterglow, and secret, and admitted into that quiet whisper-space that you find when you're all snuggled up under the covers and half-asleep and really sure you trust the person you're talking to, like the last few minutes of being awake at four in the morning at a Middle School sleepover, right before you crash on the floor in a giant cuddle pile. So at first, neither girl takes the other's confessed possible bi-curiosity too seriously.  
   
 But then THEY BOTH KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT.  
  
 And it gets to be a THING.  
  
 Suddenly there is a weird new TENSION added to all of Spencer+Ryan's interactions with Brendon, and for the two bb!lesbians it's all HOLY CRAP I HAVE SEXUAL TENSION WITH A ***BOY***, but for Brendon it's I KNEW I CAME ON TOO STRONG WITH MY ADHD AND NOW THEY WON'T BE MY FRIENDS ANYMORE. It doesn't help that last weekend, Brendon dragged Spencer+Ryan with him to see Jon's band, and then the two girls spent the entire night just glaring at him every time he went to hug Jon or Tom or Nick or ANYONE. So there is more ANGST, because even though all the characters of this story are out of high school, they haven't left the DRAMA behind.  
  
 But then A CHEERLEADING COMPETITION HAPPENS, and they all have to put aside their newfound awkwardness FOR THE GOOD OF THE SQUAD. And because this is my story and I adore happytimes for everyone, OF COURSE they get out there and KILL IT ON THE MAT, and they get a trophy, and some of the prize money is allocated to a CHEER SCHOLARSHIP which Brendon QUALIFIES FOR (so, hooray! Now he's got next semester's tuition covered, and he applied for work-study as well for over the summer. He's staying in town, since the atmosphere at his parents' house is remarkably sub-zero for a building in the desert) and the bus ride home is filled with this new kind of charged, giddy, anticipatory glee that simply cannot be contained in ANYONE'S skin, much less Brendon's.  
  
 When they get back to campus, the rest of the squad decides to go out on the town to celebrate. Ryan doesn't drink because of her Dad and always feels really awkwardly tense in bars, so Spencer decides to distract her with awesome orgasms instead. There is some innuendo about eating out for some celebratory tacos or something, I don't know, the only innuendoes I can reliably make are by accident. And on their way out of the gym, Spencer decides, "The hell with it!" and grabs Brendon's hand as well as Ryan's. Brendon goes along with it, because he's a huge fan of Mexican food, and also because he's so glad that Ryan and Spencer aren't acting weird around him any more. Ryan knows what Spencer ACTUALLY meant (that innuendo didn't fly over HER head. Seriously, Brendon?), and she's a little bit, "hmmmm…." but then she thinks about that thing they talked about that time, and decides it's one of Spencer's better ideas. Provided Brendon doesn't freak out when they get home.  
  
 So they get back to Spencer+Ryan's apartment off-campus, and Spencer starts taking off her shirt, and Brendon's like, "Ummmm, what? Are we just going to call in the tacos and have them delivered? CAN YOU DO THAT?! *joy* *excitement* *delivery Mexican is Brendon's new favorite idea*"  
  
 And Spencer's like, "Actually, Ryan and I were wondering if you wanted to get naked with us and then have some orgasms together?" because she's nothing if not straightforward about getting what she wants (it's how she first got Ryan to go out with her. "Ryan. You're my best friend, and I love you, and I trust you, and I want to have orgasms with you." She may have taken some cues from the Buffy episode where Anya propositioned Xander after the Prom, and she might also have been wearing the cheer uniform that had made Ryan go nonverbal the first time she saw Spencer wear it, but that's okay, because it totally worked and now they've been together for two years!).  
  
 Brendon's actually literally SERIOUSLY poleaxed, because WHAT? He would have been less shocked if someone had come up behind him and hit him on the back of the head with a FISH. Just two days ago, he thought they were trying to subtly ditch him from being their friend, and now Spencer's asking for a threesome? Whaaaaa? Brendon is very confused. But Ryan's nodding from where she's sitting on the couch, and Spencer's looking a little nervous, a lot certain, a little still-crazy-gleeful at their win, and only partly naked. But it's enough to let Brendon know she means it, so he nods hesitantly in response.  
  
 And then there's a lot of clothes being thrown randomly about, and a few seriously awkward fumbles as they walk down the hallway while trying to keep a three-mouth make-out going at the same time, and then some laughter and some snark (because they wouldn't be Spencer+Ryan without snark), and eventually Spencer's sitting, propped up against the pillows and the headboard, behind Ryan in their bed. Spencer's got Ryan sprawled across her lap and is playing with her nipples the way Ryan likes, and Brendon's going down on Ryan like some sort of awesome Ryan's Orgasms Sandwich, but it's just not getting her quite where she wants to be, and Ryan's like, "Have you never gone down on a girl before?" all bitchily (except for how she starts moaning in the middle of the sentence, because Spencer just started leaving hickeys on her neck) and Brendon's like, "no", all quiet and subdued (because he hasn't - helloooo, BYU had an open-door policy regarding boys and girls in the same room together. As in, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN IF YOU WANT TO HAVE BOYS AND GIRLS IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER). He thought he was doing it right for Ryan but it's not like he's ever done ANY OF THIS BEFORE, and now he's swamped with this sudden wave of anxiety and shame and he wants to bury his head under the blankets and never come up for air again.  
  
 But Spencer's awesome, and notices Brendon's sudden sadface, so she says, "Here. This is how she likes it," and reaches a hand around Ryan's hip and sticks her fingers WHERE HIS MOUTH USED TO BE and Brendon's like GNARGHARGHARGH. (This is far and beyond anything in Brendon's past sexual experience, EVER, and he's pretty much flying by the seat of his pants right now. His brain is part OHMYGOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER, and part OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP WHAT THE HELL AM I DOOOOING?, and also a little bit of "Huh. So THAT'S what that does." It's a volatile mix, but Brendon's going to make the most of this opportunity while he has it, and hope like hell it doesn't screw up his friendship with Ryan+Spencer later on.) So Brendon's watching what Spencer's hand is doing, and the few drops of blood that didn't rush straight to his dick right then are working overtime keeping his brain functioning, because now Spencer's NARRATING TO HIM, and oh! This is much better! Brendon's GREAT at following directions, and Spencer's instructions are evidently both instructional AND hot as hell, because the faces Ryan's making as she sprawls between them clearly indicate enjoyment.  
  
 Which means, there are orgasms for everyone! I'm not super at porn, so just imagine all the fun, bendy things that three celebrating gymnasts can get up to in bed, okay?  
  
 And then there is CUDDLING, because obviously.  
  
 The next morning, all three of last night's participants are waking up with bed-head and morning breath with drool spots on their pillowcases, all snuggled up into one another in Spencer+Ryan's double bed. There are arms on other people's torsos, and knees hooked over legs, but somehow, The Morning After isn't awkward at all. Plus, it's a Saturday and they don't have practice this morning - why's that? BECAUSE THEY JUST WON A FUCKING TROPHY YESTERDAY, THAT'S WHY! - so everyone gets to sleep in, and then Brendon+Spencer+Ryan go out for pancakes in the dining hall in their pajamas. Well, Ryan wears her own pajamas, but Brendon borrows a pair of Spencer's athletic shorts (because he has an ASS, and it's closer in size to Spencer's than it is to Ryan's) and re-wears his t-shirt from yesterday, and Spencer looks at Brendon wearing her clothes and decided she REALLY likes it.  
  
 When they get to the dining hall, Spencer gets a table and Ryan makes three coffees (one black with three Splenda for Spencer; one light and sweet for herself; one cup of that weirdly uniquely-ubiquitous-to-campus French Vanilla Breakfast Blend with soy milk for Brendon). Brendon makes them all some waffles at the waffle station, taking over all three flippy waffle-irons at once so that everyone's food will be done cooking at the same time and no-one's will get cold. And then he pops over to the soft serve machine that's over by the soda dispenser, and makes Spencer and Ryan impromptu waffle cones for breakfast! It's very sweet of him, and very delicious.  
  
 There are many flirty glances between the three of them as they eat breakfast, and some playing footsie under the table, and one poorly-insinuated innuendo on Spencer's part about how HOT and STRONG Brendon's coffee is (which falls over flat, because Brendon might have been part of a threesome last night but he's still no good at recognizing sexual humor, even if it clobbers him over the head and makes jokes about his dick). General consensus is that last night was AWESOME, and Spencer for one would absolutely love to do it again. Possibly before lunch?  
  
 So then breakfast is over, but no-one wants to part ways when the food is finished - Ryan's feeling pretty mellow and pleased with the world right now, and Spencer's feeling pretty smug with how well last night worked out, and Brendon really just doesn't want to leave the girls alone and give them the opportunity to have second thoughts about him. Instead, there is some wandering around in the sunshine, and some laundry is washed, and more snarking and bitchiness as the day progresses - but in the good way, the way that means the person saying it is actually including you in on the joke and is possibly in secret love with you.  
  
 And somehow, in the smoothly organic way that all the best relationships form, Spencer+Ryan becomes Spencer+Ryan+Brendon, both on AND off the mat. It feels halfway like falling headlong into some unnoticed pit beneath your feet, and halfway like they've set out on an Adventure looking for tigers in the tall backyard grass; equally accidental and deliberate at the same time. There's lots more sex as the months pass, quickies and overnights and handjobs and some slightly more adventurous Naked Funtimes slotted into people's schedules over the course of the next few weeks; in between classes and resumed cheer practice, cramming for exams and Brendon's work-study job.  
  
 Ohhh! Brendon TOTALLY works in UNLV's Administration Office for his work-study, and he's got his own little office with a door that closes that's just for the work-study kids (and usually there's only ever one work-study kid working in it at a time). One day, Ryan sneaks in and gives Brendon a blowjob under his desk! And then she sends a cell-phone picture of the two of them to Spencer, who's still in class. Spencer's like, NO FAIR STARTING WITHOUT ME. To which Brendon responds, "Idle hands are the devil's playground," (his Dad's influence pops up at the weirdest times) and Ryan chimes in that Spencer should just hurry home and hope they haven't finished before her class ends. So OF COURSE Spencer has to retaliate by texting dirty messages to Brendon and Ryan all day long for the rest of the week, and while Ryan mostly takes it in stride (she's used to Spencer's dirty mouth), Brendon blushes from ears to collarbones every time he gets a text in class. It's kind of epically irritating, and kind of fantastically wonderful, all at the same time.  
  
 And then they live happily ever after, with nobody failing their finals and Pete asking everyone back on the squad for next semester (William is most likely going to be captain next year, since Gerard and Frank are both graduating. The boys-wearing-skirts uniform vote MIGHT ACTUALLY GET PASSED with William at the helm. He's scary like that). Spencer+Ryan suggest that Brendon might be looking for ways to cut costs next semester since he's playing for it all by himself, and hadn't he noticed how expensive on-campus housing was, and wouldn't renting an apartment with friends be cheaper? Which is actually Ryan's roundabout way of asking if Brendon wants to move in with her and Spencer (Spencer would have just said, "Hey, we've got a big bed and you're actually pretty tiny. Move in with us," but again, she's more direct about the things they're all thinking than Ryan is).  
  
 Brendon says yes.  
   
 And they are a happily functioning threesome of polyamorous joy and snark and bitchiness and awesome cheerleading flips forever and ever.  
  
 {THE END}

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTES: I am not trying to make any definitive statements about cheerleading, LDS, polyamory, lesbians, or Spencer Smith with this story. I am, however, a big fan of quintenttsy's voice, and also the Panic! boys. The original draft of this not!fic was strictly Spencer/Ryan/Brendon, and lacked some integral vibrancy for it; the addition of all further characters and cameos can be laid at quintenttsy's feet. If not for her input, this story would be far less than it is now. Go download the podfic, and happy listening!
> 
> PODFICCER'S NOTES: Reena always has the best ideas, but possibly us swapping not!fics for pod together is the greatest one yet. I was half in love with the idea for this from the first time she mentioned it, and then it turned up in my inbox one day completely unexpectedly and there may have been poorly-punctuated flailing (but no emo poems :D) on my part. And it was _so much fun_ to record, um, both times I ended up doing it, since the first one was _really_ fast and _very_ terrible, though I'm advised by Cath that this version is still pretty fast but hopefully not as terrible. I hope you managed to enjoy it anyway! And if you're so inclined, you can listen to the bloopers here.


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